Christmas Stockings: In praise of socks...

It hasn’t taken long to establish that my main role isn’t to help the poor people access better healthcare. Rather, I provide much-needed entertainment to my fellow villagers in this remote and previously humourless part of the country.

What I didn’t expect is that I am also a figure of ridicule amongst the volunteer community.

Why is this? After all, I constrain my obsessive-compulsive traits to alphabetizing of the fiction section of the volunteer library in Phnom Penh. I cover the tracks of my pitiful attachment to Oldham Athletic. I frequently resist the urge to don my fluorescent-yellow safety jacket.

But there is one area where I will not compromise – and where I thus meet the derision and mirth of my colleagues. I refuse to renounce the wearing of socks.

Socks! In this heat! Am I crazy? Allow me to explain.

First of all, let’s blow the fashion myth. Who says socks and sandals are a style no-no? I accept the allure of beautiful heels in stilettos, but what’s the attraction of hairy ankles in flipflops? In contrast, I'd say I cut rather a dashing figure as I stride through downtown Thmar Puok in my North-Face open-tops and matching light-green 100% cotton ankle-socks. I would go so far as to say they look even better than my wellies, though function outweighed form during the wet season.

Secondly, socks aren’t only fashionable, they keep you beautiful. Most Cambodians live in the countryside, which is dusty in dry season and a mud-fest when it rains. Perhaps because of this, personal cleanliness is highly prized. Girls spend hours painting toes, and my favourite taxi driver has grown his thumbnail into an impressive ten centimetre reminder that he no longer works the ricefields. Add to this the Bhuddist notion that the head is the holiest part of the body and your soles the most profane, and you have a strong reason to keep your feet as polished as possible. And who, my non-sock-wearing muckers, do you think has the cleanest feet in all Cambodia?

And the clincher: What’s the biggest threat to volunteers in this country? Crazy drivers? Maybe. Landmines? Probably not anymore. Diarrhea? Worms? Perhaps if you’re brave enough to eat the meat. Malaria? Getting warmer. From what I can tell it’s actually Dengue Fever. Two further cases recently meant that the majority of the volunteer community in my province have now had the disease, whose effects range from the unpleasant to the deadly. And what can you do to avoid it? Mosquito nets won’t help as it’s carried by the daytime mozzies. A few locals still put scarecrows outside their homes to protect them from the evil disease-bringing ghosts, but - with apologies to my cultural sensitivity training - this is superstitious claptrap (not to mention a dangerous distraction).

All you can do is spray and cover up well. And where do those mozzies go for most? Answer: your ankles. Conclusion: spray and cover your ankles. Wear socks, avoid Dengue. Hard to refute.

So my friends, it is time to rise up against the nastiness of naked ankles, the fug of festering feet, and the dangers of Dengue. Join me in my festive campaign – together let us celebrate and communicate the benefits of sporting the unfairly maligned, unquestionably sensible and surprisingly comfortable sock.